A Place of Peace
Jared recalls, “In 2012, my wife and I divorced and that is where I just let go. It really wrecked my world. I got depressed and stopped going to work. I bumped into some of the wrong friends from my teen years and started using drugs again. In the process, I really blew myself up and started running from issues and problems. I had a lot of short, failed relationships, which was not good for my soul.
“I was in one of those relationships where we argued a lot. She would tell me, ‘you need help, but you don’t even believe in God. If you don’t believe in God then it will never work.’ I was actually mad at God and blamed Him for the negative things that happened. The anger really came from my own failures and guilt. I wouldn’t have said that back then, but I’ve learned a lot here at the mission. I had a lot of guilt for my failures and for hurting people close to me. I failed my wife, I failed her parents, and I failed our friends. But I’ve learned a lot about God’s grace and forgiveness, about my pride and anger; I have come to a place of peace. I had to learn to focus on my relationship with God and not so much on other relationships. I want to be someone who has honor and integrity because I have not been honest or had integrity in the past. I want my kids to be blessed and I pray for them. The hardest part is feeling forgiven. I know the Lord has forgiven me, but it’s hard with people I’ve hurt in the past,” Jared continues.
Jared will seek to mend those fences and spread peace by, “Teaching my children and guiding them in the right direction. I’ve learned a lot about patience here. Having faith used to be hard for me. I used to lean on my own understanding a lot. I’d question things too much and stopped learning.” Now, Jared knows to trust in the Lord with all his heart and lean not on his own understanding.
He shares, “I want to find a career, to be able to move out and find a place of my own. I want to be able to still minister with the mission. I’d like to be able to give back and I want to have a good, safe environment for my kids. God is even restoring my relationship with my dad. I hadn’t talked to him in two years, but I talked to him for a while the other day.”